kittydoom777

Before I start bragging about how now that I'm single GUYS ARE ALL OVER ME AND IT'S SO NEW AND AWESOME, I would first like to note in writing that I find it VERY odd that I compose my angry rants at people in a very eloquent, refined british accent.

I would say it's because of my mother, except when she's angry at me she doesn't sound the least bit refined. Her common-ness shoots out of her mouth like WHOA and all that.

I noted this while I was composing a WONDERFUL monologue should I bump into my ex-bestie on renfest the weekend after her birthday. I got the day off for her bday when we WERE friends and then I got uninvited. Then we were friends no longer. But I am still going, with a bunch of NEW FRIENDS and an old friend she dumped cuz he is "too annoying."

I wish I yelled at her for that when I had the chance, cuz that's a really bitchy move and the friend in question is awkward and loud but so am I, and thus I take personal offense to that.

MY LIFE IS SO EXCITING AND DRAMATIC AND SHIT. (not)

BUT YES THE REGISTRATION PROCESS. :D

I kid you fucking not, since my ex and I broke up a month ago, I've gotten like 8 phone numbers and all kinds of guys flirting with me and telling me I'm a sexy bitch WHICH I AM.

I've gotten a couple duds. Like Mr Tiny Penis Catholic and Mr Lets Be Exclusive After Only Knowing Each Other For A Week (AKA Psycho). So after those two I'm just chillaxinnnn.

Two of my mall friends who are also roommates and besties are diggin' the insides of my pants too. It's kinda awesome. I feel like one of those girls in high school who has all the guys at school drooling over her and fawning and has complete power to toy with their hearts and penii.

Except I wouldn't toy with a heart. A penis yes, but not a heart.

Hehehe. I just said I'd toy with a penis.

SO I had a red bull for breakfast. :D YAY CAFFEINE!

I'm kinda excited for my life right now.

I'm pretty awesome.

UPDATES

Not friends with the TWIG no mores. not too sad about this

HOLY CRAP I'M MAKING FRIENDS WHAT IS THIS, SPARTA?

Artartartartworkworkworkworkdrivingdrivingdrivingdriving

a real update will commence at a later date.

an incredible personal breakthrough has occurred.

Melody has figured out make up.

I was invited to a MK party and I bought the compact pro and concealer and foundation and bronzer and tinted lipbalm and eye primer. I got a free little tester pack of eye color, and so I've been using those for makeup.

I went to my free glamour appointment and I bought a cheek color and 3 eye colors and a sample of make up remover

Colors, if you are interested:

• Concealer in Ivory 100


• Medium Coverage Foundation in Ivory 200


• Honey Spice mineral eye shadow (in my mini pack)


• Spun Silk mineral eye shadow


• Iris mineral eye shadow


• Ivy Garden mineral eye shadow


• Vintage Gold mineral eye shadow(in my mini pack, I really like this color)


• Blue Metal mineral eye shadow (mini pack)


• Sienna mineral eye shadow (mini pack)


• Golden Copper mineral cheek color


• Poppy tinted lipbalm

I'm also looking into these products:

• Shell creme lipstick


• Amber Suede creme lipstick


• Raspberry lip liner


• Satin Lips Set


• Navy Blue eye shadow


• Coal eye color


• Sheer Mineral Pressed Powder in Ivory 2


• Basic Skin Care Set in Formula 3


• Elige Eau de Parfum

All this independant sales people going on makes me interested in being a Slumber Parties lady and even a Mary Kay lady.

Kent's family is on the end of a crisis. His father went to the hospital, almost died, didn't needs to quit smoking and they don't have health insurance so now they have to start selling their valuables which I am NOT allowed to talk about but let me tell you it'll get a chunk out.

And they've also got a lot of debt anyway because they just bought a pre-fab house to put on their (gorgeous country) 3 acre plot of land, and have been spending a lot of the loan money to get the old trailer out and the new house in and WORKING, and so they have lots and lots of debts at the moment.

Kent's stressing out because his family needs him a lot and he's been doing SO much for them but he doesn't think it and I wanna get it in his head he's proven invaluable to them and his mom is SO grateful he's been there for him and he just doesn't GET IT and he's been so visably upset and stressed and THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO FOR HIM.

I hate feeling useless! I'm his girlfriend! I should be able to fix SOME PART OF WHAT'S UPSETTING HIM BUT I CAN'T.

And my best friend, when all this started, decided to be a BITCH and bail on seeing HP6 with me on opening night when I had already bought her fucking ticket. She scheduled herself for opening at work the next day. The movie ends at 3AM. Work starts at 10AM. She apparently HAS TO GET UP AT 6 AM TO GET FUCKING READY. She cut her goddamn hair, so I don't know why she needs more than an hour to do her hair. 5 hours of sleep would be plenty.

AND AND AND. When I got pissed at her for it (I ALREADY BOUGHT THE MOTHER FUCKING GODDAMN TICKET) She got all bitchy like "I would think my health was more important than a movie."

FUCK THAT SHE ALWAYS FORGETS OUR CASUAL PLANS NOW THAT SHE'S DATING HER FUCKING BOYFRIEND I HAVE TO PLAN SOME BIG MOTHERFUCKING EVENT TO GET HER TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND NOW THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE IT IN HER STUPID FUCKING MEMORY.

And when I pointed this out she was all "sry!"

SRY!? I DO NOT WARRANT A FULL WORD, LET ALONE A FUCKING FULL APOLOGY!? That fucking stings

AND WHEN I POINTED THAT OUT SHE WAS ALL "I'm sorry you're hurt but we still have the day after and the day after to hang out!"

Fuck. That. Shit.

She can't fucking care enough to REMEMBER ME. Or APOLOGIZE PROPERLY. Tell me WHY I should spend any more of my TIME with her if I DON'T FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE.

AND THE FUCKED UP THING!

She had, only DAYS BEFORE, told me that she missed me and wanted to hang out!

IF THIS IS WHAT SHE'S LIKE WHEN SHE MISSES ME, WHY SHOULD I FUCKING WASTE MY TIME!?

I fucking LOVE this girl, she's like my goddamn sister and thought I knew her and I THOUGHT she knew me. But apparently she's unreliable and doesn't fucking remember that DITCHING AND FUCKING UP BIG GINORMOUS PLANS MAKES ME A LITTLE TICKED OFF.

AND THEN. AND THEN AFTER I DECIDED I WOULD NOT TALK TO HER UNTIL SHE FUCKING APOLOGIZED PROPERLY. (And also took her off my top 3 on myspace and out of my favorites list on msn messenger because I wanted to HURT her but couldn't do it physically at 2 AM on a tuesday night) She made her status on myspace (for, like, a minute, and after wising up to the fact my rage with only grow stronger) "I will be mature about this" and her mood was "disapointed"

FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCK.

I was looking for any sign that maybe I WOULD get the person I loved back, my best friend back, and all I got was more of a sign that she was a DUMB SHIT who didn't understand the PRINCIPLE TO THIS.

YOU DON'T BAIL ON YOUR FRIENDS CONTINUOUSLY.
YOU DON'T GIVE THEM A LAME ASS APOLOGY WHEN YOU DO.
YOU DON'T MAKE THEM SOUND LIKE THE ASSHOLE WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE WHO FUCKED UP.

I DO NOT THINK ANY OF THESE THINGS ARE UNREASONABLE, DO YOU!?

NO, YOU DON'T.

I was ANGRY then and I am ANGRY NOW.

And actually, I'm MORE angry because I FUCKING MISS HER. I've wanted to text her and tell her how much I missed her EVERY FUCKING DAY WE HAVEN'T TALKED.

But then I reminded myself that I'd look like an IDIOT if I crawled back and if she didn't make the peace offering first, I wouldn't be making my point in the fact that YOU DON'T DO THIS SHIT.

GOD DAMN IT I WANNA FUCKING BREAK A FUCKING BRICK WALL.

I've needed her. I've wanted to tell her everything that's been going on and rely on her like I should be able to do on my best friend. BUT NO. SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER ME. SHE'S NOT MY BEST FRIEND. A BEST FRIEND WOULD FUCKING REMEMBER AND MAKE TIME AND NOT SAY THEY MISS YOU AND THEN SAY "OOPS, I SCHEDULED MYSELF INTO A CORNER, I'M GONNA HAVE TO BAIL ON YOU, NO HARD FEELINGS, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!"

Fuck yes there are hard feelings.

HOW FUCKING DUMB IS SHE!? I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD!!!!

Here's some screenshots of my lovely sims.


Melody Showering after going to Explore the Catacombs.


Kent is upgrading the stove while Melody is Gardening in the yard.


Melody painting the beginnings of a Brilliant Painting.


Melody watering a Lettuce Plant.

I haven't done much of a story with them; I'm currenting maxing skills and attaining their Lifetime Wishes, which for Kent (which is already Acheived) is to be a Professional Author. Melody's is to Be a Master of The Arts.

Kent is:
A Young Adult with the Loves The Outdoors, Hopeless Romantic, Artistic, Childish and Good Sense of Humor traits. He has Maxed the Writing Skill, and is the primary Sim used for things requiring Handiness. He has obtained the Acclaimed Author, Observant, Opportunistic and Attractive Lifetime Rewards. He is Married to Melody. He has a Best Friend and a Good Friend

Melody is:
A Young Adult with the Brave, Natural Cook, Artistic, Friendly and Excitable traits. She has Maxed the Painting Skill, and is the primary Sim used for Gardening. She has obtained the Collection Helper and Observant Lifetime Rewards. She is Married to Kent. She has No Friends.

I get angry. I hurt. I rage and I fluctuate and I hold a grudge and remember wrongdoings and indiscretions more than anyone can imagine. I will love you and hate you at the same time.

Love for all the good and all the pleasantries and the company and the touch.

Hate for deciding to withdraw and make me doubt that the reasons I love you could be false.

I am not sane, not in the least.

I doubt, I fidget, I meddle, I fear.

I plan, I calculate, I examine, I decide.

I decide if I can handle you, I decide if I can keep you.

I decide if the good outweighs the bad, and if the good actually exists.

I am destruction and creation.

I am war and peace.

I fight and I mediate.

I see both sides, I know both sides, I am both sides.

And both sides can be hurt.

I howl, I cry, I rant, I scream.

You, you have no idea.

You, you have every idea.

You don't know me yet you can read me like a book.

You can't fathom me yet you plumb my depths regularly.

Who are you to claim ignorance? Who are you to deny that any of the hurt you inflict was an accident?

You know how I react to your typical actions. You know which of your words can do me most harm.

And...you still act the same, you still say them.

Who here is in the wrong?

all plans and sense of wellbeing is slowing falling a part.

So, yea. I feel like shit.

Don't really wanna get into it.

I'm drawing a lot because my hw is all "draw 10 pages a week!" for my Design 1 class. I think I should keep this. Because I'm really cranking out some nice fast-and-loose and funny things.

Okay, so not all of them are funny, since I've worked through some anxiety on a page and it makes me look like nuts and bolts, but that'll never see the light of day.

The other stuff might, since I'm thinking about turning this journal into a comic journal (a little bit, at least).

So I've been sleeping like shit since my Sleep MD ran out (a natural/herbal supplement. It's got the tryptophan, another sleepy hormone, jasmine and another herb) and it's most likely due to stress. I still don't have a job and if I move in with Kent I may lose my health insurance. Which means I get to live in the dorms and with my parents. Never with Kent. For a long ass time.

It's stressful.

And I'm miserable in college. I'm doing my work, but I'm really not enjoying my classes. And I'm just not feeling social. Again, I'm in it for the degree. I was in it for the degree in High School, I'm in it for the degree here.

I'm going back to bed.

(note, I feel better, but I don't feel very rested. thus; bed.)

Valentines' Day was all sorts of a disaster. Not that Kent didn't try his damndest to make it special and wonderful (it would of been too!) but we also decided to see how far we can push my alcohol tolerance. We got to 7 shots of vodka and several hits before I fell over and couldn't get up. And then I started throwing up.

I really don't remember much of Valentines Day after that last shot.

But the next day was also our 5th month 'aneversary' and we made up for it. There was less red and silliness (that was all planned for V-Day) but it had that romantic connotation. We were all giggly and smoochy when we saw "PUSH" so it's no big deal. We got our daily allowance of 'sap' in.

By the way, I'm really hoping PUSH is a trilogy at least. I'm going to be thrilled if it's some epic movie-saga. I think the people need another one, you know? So many are ending in the next few years.

Yesterday was a bit of a horror. I slept through Geology and when I went to my next class, I realized the sick day I took when I started my period and felt like shit made me miss one of his 'quizzes'. He's going to have a bajillion more, and I know I can make up for it, but it still makes me feel like a dumbass for not showing up. I need to get some A's this semester and all.

Then, Art was really weird. I'm bullshitting the current project, I really didn't do it in the order she wanted, I just kinda found pictures in a magazine that looked like they had something in common. And voila! I look like I know what I'm doing. I need to work on some more designs for this project so I can do it this weekend. It's due monday, which is going to suck ass.

AND THEN....guh. My Women in Perspective class cocked up my entire plan for today. My entire class didn't read the second chapter (well, I did, but 2 weeks ago when I had a snow day and was sick and I didn't read the supporting articles in the book) and the teacher has this saying that "Reading papers are easier than writing them" so now the entire class has to write a 5 page summary of the chapter. And because I have the mac that has no goddamn MSWord program, I have just the mac equivilant of notepad with cursory formatting options. No word count, no indication if I'm starting a new page. I won't even know if I wrote enough until I print it out tomorrow morning. Oh yea! It's due tomorrow. :| 5pm, yea, but still. 5 pages in a day. Ugh. I was up until 2:50 AM trying to get the chapter part done. Today I will summarize the articles and then I am going to Kent's and making sure it's 5 goddamn pages.

And work on more images for art.

Oh, and last night I also went out to dinner to the Cheesecake Factory with my family and my maternal grandmother (hereafter referred to as "Nanny"). Before we were called to the table, I took Julia exploring of the mall that the Cheesecake Factory was connected too. It's super posh, it has a burberry store, a coach store and it's going to have a Louis Vuitton store, not to mention the Swarvoski store and countless other posh stores I can't afford to shop in.

Julia got all bitchy about MD, saying that she "hates how a nice night out is going to the Cheesecake Factory." Stupid little girl didn't really take a good look at the menu prices, did she? And tCF has crazy nice architecture and somesuch.

On the way back to tCF, Julia found 11 dollars on the ground and we fought over it and she wouldn't give her poor, unemployed college-going big sister some of the money to help pay for things. I then started going on about how she didn't love me. I told mom and dad thus when I went back to the table. It's awesome how I get to be the cool, collected one and Julia's the whiney flustered one Dad snaps at. Gotta love not being home for a while. :)

Of course (repeat ahead, sorry!), hopefully I don't have to call home "home" anymore, and can move in with Kent this summer. Sweet dreams....

I hope I can...

Pretty much sucked.

I woke up all shaked up because I had this awful dream that Kent and I had a baby girl who was born with diabetes and had developed cancer and because she was so sick, he was gone working all the time so we could pay her medical bills and she would have her mommy to comfort her. The worst thing was that I couldn't comfort her because she was in so much pain and wouldn't stop crying.

If you knew me, you'd know that this dream pretty much gutted me. I love children, I want children, and to have a child who's this sick...if a baby is born with diabetes it's pretty much the mother's fault for not taking care of herself when she's pregnant, not eating right. I woke up feeling guilty about not taking good care of my dream-baby in utero.

Then my classmates in Geology decided it would be a terrific idea to bash traditional rendering and go on about how the art teachers in my university are nuts/have the sense of a retarded cat. And then I learned a requirement of the electronic illustration program: A remedial computer class. I'm not even kidding. They label the fucking parts of a computer. They do shit on goddamn MS Paint. I bet they explain how FILES work too.

Massive. Brain. Death.

And also a whole shit load of resentment. I LOVE traditional rendering - even though I use markers and india ink w/ a paintbrush. Not at all traditional in the wide view of rendering, and not all that traditional in the sense of cartooning. For serious.

And then they go on about how illustration is so hard to get a job in and I'm all "I'm fucking indie. I don't want to work for someone else in art. I want to be published by my self, I want to write my own stories and draw pictures to them myself, I want to work with my boyfriend on things, not under some corporate jackass who has restrictions on my art."

No one gets it. These fucks all want to work with corporate jackasses and sacrifice personal integrity for money. Don't get me wrong, money's great, but I prefer to get rich on my own terms. If I ever do.

And then there was US History, where we learned (or reviewed) the Dawes Act and Native American Assimilation which depresses the hell out of me every time I think about it. The Dawes Act is pretty much my ultimate least favorite Act that the US Congress has ever put into motion. It's disgusting.

And Kent was hiding most of today, so I couldn't throw texts at him to make my day better in small incrimints. But he responded finally around 6 so I got to talk to him and it made things pretty better. Then I took a small nap (would've been sleep but my asshole dormmates decided that the hallways are common areas...I can't wait to get out of here) and took a shower and talked to Kent some more.

So I feel better now, and I'm looking forward toward tomorrow. Valentines' day is going to make up for all of the last couple weeks' shit. I love Kent so much. I can't wait to live with him. I hope I can do that this year.

Ever since I realized I had until May to get a job, I've been freaking out. Ideally I want to get hired somewhere by mid-march to march 31st so I have a couple paychecks under my belt for a new car so I can do the whole "stable work" thing so I can move in with Kent and it not be the stupidest idea ever.

I love you sweety, but relying on you for all my transportation needs is a bundle of no.

Also so my parents have enough time to find a decent used car before the end of the semester. Because if I don't have a car by then, I'm screwed.

Job stability for a sales associate basically means I need to get to work on time, be friendly, and not be a jack ass. I can do all these things, I JUST NEED A MOTHER FUCKING CAR.

BEFORE SUMMER BREAK.

I'm freaking out quite a bit.

Next tuesday/thursday I'm going to go apply to the art store down the street. If that doesn't work out, I guess I can look for a job as a waitress.

-shivers-

I think that would be all kinds of hell.

So I could be seen as a regular and knowledgable of the bookstore, I've decided to go to B&N every day on my "days off" (Tuesdays and Thursdays I don't have classes), and wander around and look and be neat and friendly and smiley. You know, be a fixture and be considered a good addition on to the team.

(But I need to stop buying things, I don't have the money to do this much longer)

And when I bought this new book I got a compliment on my batman shirt from a guy (who I assume is Brian or Daran...didn't get a good look at his name tag) who worked there, and we started up a conversation about books and getting in trouble at school and our mothers attacking the school for hurting "their babies" and I mentioned that "I applied here on Tuesday and I was just wondering if I should go and hunt for other jobs, because I would love to work here, but I need a job..."

He asked me about what I know how to do, and I made it kinda clear I'm new to working, but he over all said he'd push my application to the top if an opening occurred,

If I can't get it, I'll go look at the art store down the street, cuz I do need a job, because I need a job before May (hopefully by March/April) so I can get a car before summer starts so I can move in with Kent and have a real job that'll stick, instead of having to spend a couple weeks at 5Below and then be carless and jobless next semester.

again.

-sigh- If I get a campus job I'll be jobless in the summer. And that is FAIL. :(

GROWING UP SUCKS.

First off; the TV is fucking stupid. When someone says "The Director of The Nightmare Before Christmas, everyone thinks it's Tim Burton. EVERYONE. But if you said "The Director of Nightmare Before Christmas, Neil Gaiman, A WHOLE SHITLOAD OF MORE PEOPLE WOULD OF SHOWN UP.

Neil Gaiman is the mastermind behind MirrorMask, Stardust, Beowulf, AND! is the author of the BOOK Stardust, the notable and fucking genius 90s comic book series "The Sandman", and is the overall GOD of all thing dark, spooky and literary.

Tim Burton never wrote a stitch of anything he's made, so he cannot be god of all things dark, spooky and literary.

Anyway.

Coraline is cute. The art (as with anything Gaiman-related) was well crafted, detailed and had glorious colors. I've seen very few stop animation movies that are both detailed and colorful, but Coraline was both, and was beautiful.

The beginning was very good, and I AND my half-writer/half-goofball boyfriend enjoyed it. The over all lead up to the "adventure/conflict" part of the movie was very pleasing and well put together, but the part where Coraline has to subdue the "Other Mother" or "Beldon" and go back home was less adventure-y and thrilling and more "We're watching a video game."

I kid you not, I seriously think that Coraline was first a video game script that never made it to EA Games or Square Unix and Neil Gaiman decided to turn it into a movie. She had to find a hidden item in each of the three wonders that the Beldon made for her to stay, and fight off foes cleverly with the sometimes aide of a wiser being (the cat). And then she had to race back through the little door and put the key to the Beldon's world in a place she cannot reach.

Wtf, it's a video game plot. Especially with the speed and quickness of finding the items and escaping when the "wonders" turned into "dangers" and attacked her. Of course, if it were a video game, and I was playing it, I would never win. But that's because I suck at video games.

This isn't a bashing of Coraline, so much as a "Why did Neil rush through this important part of the movie" During the whole build up to the climax a lot of information is typically revealed (especially in anything Neil Gaiman touches), and in Coraline, it was very much a cartoon. I suppose the PG rating was not only a warning for parents of the spooky factor of the movie, but also a warning for everyone else the level of complexity in the movie.

There should be a rating for how complex the movie is, so people who enjoy twisting and winding roads of stories don't get disappointed by how much of a straight shot a movie is, even though the trailers lead us to believe otherwise.

Overall, Coraline was a good childrens scary movie, had good character design and backgrounds, and was over all pleasing to look at, even if it was definitely made for the younger crowd.

I haven't talked about this enough in my blogs because I'm slightly superstitious and also because I had, like, no ideas for actually accomplishing this long time dream of mine.

I want to be...published.

For a while I was trying to figure out if my life was interesting enough for me to create loads of comics or a book about it, and as far as books go, NO. My life has no coherent stream! But comics? Comics it can do.

Just, who would care? I threw my first comic Madness to my Method into the blackhole of the internet, expecting I'd get a couple cursory glances from members of the forum I frequented for my favorite webcomic, The Devil's Panties.

Lo and behold, some of them actually liked my comic. But I started this bitch when I was in high school, and with little or no self discipline. I still don't have any (have not done one speck of reading for any of my classes this semester, and I keep meaning to, dammit!), and Madness has been on several months-long haitus' in it's 2 and a half years of existence.

I figured this was proof of my failure as an artist and writer and I've pretty much given up on it and it's original idea, which was essentially to be the bastard copy of The Devil's Panties.

Now I realize I've been putting myself up to a standard that not many artists do. Jennie Breeden is a fucking machine, and all should worship her for her work ethic. But for most (like me) it's not immediately realistic. Maybe one day I can update a web comic 7 days a week with a work that is finely crafted, but as a high schooler and then as a college freshman, that's an idea that's full of stupid.

The reason why I've come to realize this? Lucy Knisely and Julia Wertz. Both are also young, indie comics artists who have been published at very young ages. And who also don't stick to very strict schedules.

Lucy Knisely is pretty consistent in quality, but she doesn't update everyday, and doesn't update everyday with a comic or illustration. (She was recently featured on livejournal, and her journal has most of her comics, the website I linked is her portfolio site. On LJ she is lucylou) All the same, her skillz with the pen and paper put mine to shame, but she still isn't a daily updater. She follows a schedule that lets her do good comics and have work posted she can appreciate. Her book is French Milk.

Julia Wertz, on the other hand, is a whole other ball game. She has two books published, (one is all her stuff, another is an anthology she conceived and edited) The Fart Party and I Saw You.... I bought "I Saw You..." last Thursday, and since then have completed the book and found her website and ate up all of the last 3 year's updates. She is excellent at writing, but often times her website updates are stick-figure scribbles. But people are still huge fans of her work, and buy her books.

The thing with both these artists is that I identify with them more than I ever did with Jennie Breeden of The Devil's Panties. Jennie has a life, has friends, and goes on zany adventures. She is not the reclusive writer/artist type. Lucy Knisley on the other hand, is a lot more subdued in her slices of life she shows to us. She talks about food and cats and boyfriends and jobs and did I mention food? Her life would be mine if I had a job, lived with my boyfriend, and had money to be the inner foodie I wish I could be (saffron is expensive bitches!). Julia Wertz, on my third and alien mutant hand, is a reclusive, slightly judgemental (it's in her comics, she says it, I'm not being mean), poor, single, and all about music and books and hording strange things to serve as cheap impromptu bookshelves for her stacks of paper, books and prints. And she thinks her work is crap (also got from her website).

Thank GOD I found these artists or otherwise I'd of given up on comics forever and have super seriously decided to be a teaching major in graduate school. Maybe I can do cartoon studies in MICA? Well, illustration studies. 'Snot like anywhere but SCAD and the Joe Kubert School of Cartoon and Graphic Studies have any programs specifically for the drawing of sequential arts.

ANYWAY. These artists are mad awesome (all three) and are all makin' the moneys off of their work. Not mad moneys, mind you, but an amount they can live off of. Well, Julia Wertz' books haven't been out long enough for her to get checks yet, but it seems pretty awesome and I definitely reccommend that everyone and their mother buy I Saw You....

Doit. DO IT NOW!

I drew a comic for the first time in ever!

blame fart party! The comic told me that my drawings can be shit as long as I'm funny!

Good writing is everything, why do I forget this?

So I drew a shitty diary comic in pencil in my school sketch book (because I have to draw 10 pages a week and I'm bad at that), and I think it's like my blogs.

Well written, to the point and maybe a little grammatically incorrect.

But who cares! I drew something I liked a little! I broke my "I hate my art, I fail at art, I suck at life!" period.

Except I still feel like I suck at life because I want and need a job but I also love not having any real responsibilities and all this free time.

I'm a lazy college student, sue me!

I think working at B&N may end in financial ruin for me.

I will love working there, but I will have to have all of the self restraint to not just pull comics and book from the shelves to buy every night willy-nilly.

I can do it? I dunno, I love books so much and now I'm near a book store that has a better selection that BAM at the mall ever did (BAM = Books A Million). I could go into BAM and curse the hell out of the store for not having one of my favorite authors (who is a NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER WTF), and then buy a brownie from the cafe.

Barnes and Nobles had a new FABLE comic book, a book about writing comics and a motherfucking Odd Thomas graphic novel (a terrific series, I'm telling you!). I bought all three. I have 51 dollars and some change less in my bank account. Last thursday I bought a FABLE book I had already read that was a stand-alone that I loved, and "I Saw You...", a compilation book of comics based on those Craigslist and newspaper missed connections ads.

And for shiz, I would have never of found these books at BAM at home. I would find a book I liked maybe once ever few months. B&N is a gold mine.

I may self combust from the self restraint I need. I may be a little bit screwed. But I'll love it! I'll be in heaven. :) Mmmm...book discounts.

My parents have been on my case about getting a new job here at school, and I think they're right that I should get a new job, but the economy sucks and I really think no one is hiring. But I would totally love to work at the Barnes and Nobles down the street from my campus, and the added bonus is that I KNOW I would love working there (I am the quintessential book nerd) and I would never want to leave that job and it would give me a reason to move out of the dorms and in with Kent this summer.

And I could get a car! I need this, you see.

The only catch is that in the long term Kent may move further from campus (he wants to move out of his current apartment in August) and commute could pose a problem.

But I'm sure that would be something he would consider, as we both want me to move in with him by August.

but yea! I'm going to finish my homework and walk down to Barnes and Nobles and ask for an application and talk up to who ever is a manager type person and be in love with the job!

I hope they are hiring!

I've been feeling multiple levels of shit the last few weeks, partially from me being sick, and the horrible jerkitude that my father had inflicted upon me with his pointed and uneducated opinions of my boyfriend. Part of it is also because I'm due for my next depo shot in two weeks and I'm in desperate need of the progesterone. It makes my moods stable and nice, you know?

I love how my horrible moodswings, depression and mild delusions and paranoia all came down to estrogen kicking me in the pants. It's completely true that women are crazy, estrogen makes you fucking NUTS.

Of course, some women are crazy for normal psychological reasons, but PMS is for real. It can make a person certifiably insane.

So I've been paranoid and mildly depressed and snippy around Kent, who's been ill, so that's no fair to him. I took it out on his apartment in the form of cleaning. Except then I got overwhelmed and sat and stared into space while he slept.

:/ He's gonna LOVE me when I go off the birth control and we try for babies (in 8 years! in 8 years! don't yell at me Jim!).

ah well. We're going to watch Inkheart today so hopefully the awesomeness of that will improve my mood substantially.