I bought a wand today. It wasn't a chakra wand because it was 70 bucks and I need to make this paycheck stretch for a month, my next check is going straight into savings.

One day.

The wand I did buy was a gorgeous, deep red cocobolo wand that is apparently good for astral travel and other astral workings and including opening portals. That would be handy for Samhain. I was playing with it, getting it used to my touch and bonding it to me and then I got exhausted. Hormones or Magick? Who knows. I slept for like 4 hours after I put it away in it's purple pouch.

I also bought an onyx and its own pouch because if I'm going to be dabbling in Magick, all of my hallucinations/spectral buddies are going to come back and I really don't want Formerly to come back. I just realized a few weeks ago that if Formerly really is a demon and not a hallucination, there is a high possibility he'll come and haunt my kids one day. I fully intend to raise them as witches. So onyx, a stone with strong banishing powers, would be useful like woah.

I still need a chalice, an athame and a few more stones. Quartz and opals are my favorites. Tiger Eye is good for meditation and more banishment. Ghosts and demons love my family. :\

When Shea and I have our own apartment in a year, we've decided to put up an altar. I always wanted one of those.

I found out recently (which really surprised me) that the element associated with wands is fire. I was surprised. I always saw a wand as an element of air, connected with intellect and higher thinking. But I suppose, when you think of it, the power associated with wands would be completely associated with fire. Wands are dangerous, if used improperly. Like fire.

Now for love. A person who I have previously mentioned in my blogs in an unfavorable light (which was really, really stupid of me) has contacted me, begging for forgiveness (honestly I think we've both sinned against each other and thus we're perfectly even and the slate is blank) and stated he misses me, talking to me and having someone understand him. I'm still convinced I'm not good with people like him; I'm far from delicate no matter what Kent says and my words fall like an anvil. But I do know that when we both were on even mental ground we get on like a house on fire.

I'm not sure how to approach this. I refriended him on myspaz, and I guess I can see what happens, but truly, no matter how much of an emotional mess the dyad of Kent and Melody is, I still kind of am thinking maybe some day in the future we could have a real chance. It's truly a matter of it being the wrong time. And this individual has expressed that he sees me in a romantic way.

The confusion continues!

Sometimes I think life should have a handbook.